Free fallin'

Dustin and I have the, uh, blessed opportunity to teach the 7-8 year olds at church. Last Sunday, we went around the room asking them to each say one fun thing they did during the week.


Heather: Now do you want to hear what we did this week?
Kid #1: Sit at home and watch TV?
Kid #2: Yeah! That's what my parents do!!


Punk kids! We went paragliding!

Image stolen from activeflight.com

It was so awesome. Go leave the safety of your homes and jump off a mountain right now.

Actually - it felt incredibly safe. And when you're floating in the air, it's very tranquil. (Although while you turn, you free fall - which is SO EXHILARATING. SO EXHILARATING THAT I'M SHOUTING AT YOU THROUGH THE INTERNETS.)

The only really freaky part was at the beginning, when I was strapped into the parachute and my instructor at the top of a mountain, gazing down at the drop below.

Instructor: Start running as fast as you can.

Heather: That's totally natural!

But yes. I highly recommend it. SO FUN.

"Don't squeeze me!"

I have no green thumbs. In fact, you might say I have brown thumbs. Harsh Brown Thumbs of Death.

While we were dating, Dustin, knowing my less-than-stellar history with plants, gave me "a plant that even you can't kill!" It was a desert plant that could survive weeks without watering.

I accidentally knocked it off my windowsill and shattered the pot into a million pieces.

With that said, meet the newest addition to the family:

Javier.

We decided he's easier than a child - less fussy and a whole lot cheaper. Dustin is in charge of keeping it alive. My job is to admire it from afar.

Hopefully it won't wither when I look at it.

"We hide our flaws until after the wedding!"

I took some medicine with caffeine three hours ago. Bad idea. Bad, bad idea.

So. I'm a married woman now. What I have been up to in the last two months of matrimony, you wonder? Oh, a little of this and a little of that:

The other morning I was peacefully taking a shower, when suddenly a cold, clammy hand grabbed my arm. I may or may not have screamed like a woman possessed. The Husband claims I did that to him before. Hmm...sounds vaguely familiar...

***

::Dustin is taking a shower, as Heather brushes her teeth. Suddenly, Heather emits a scream of death::
Heather: EEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Dustin in turn screams, and rapidly jumps out of the shower.
Heather points at the bug on the floor.
::Dustin shakes his head, disposes of the bug, and gets back in the shower::

***

Heather is cuddled up with a blanket on the love sac, reading.
Heather: Hey Dustin...do you want to come sit with me for a bit?
Dustin (suspiciously): Why?
Heather: ...I want to leech off your heat. Er...and I want your company!

***

We try to be good to each other. I resisted the urge to wake him up in the middle of the night to search our house after I had a nightmare that a creeper broke in - but he searched the house for me when he woke up in the morning. You know, just in case.

And there's the sweet and mushy part, too. Like how on a day that I wasn't feeling so swell, Dustin tucked me into bed with a cup of hot cocoa. Or how he will let me put my iceberg feet on his legs at night so I don't perish from the cold. And falling asleep cuddling. Until we wake up burning hot and uncomfortable.

I think I'll keep him.

"You're the office witch."

(at church)

Heather: There is a spider in my bathroom waiting to kill me.
Dustin: Is it a big spider or a tiny one?

(pause)

Heather: I don't want to talk about it.

After church, Dustin and his two Fearless Roommates came over to kill the spider in my bathroom and another one on my ceiling - which, shudder, Fearless Roommate killed with his bare hands.

(after leaving my condo)

Fearless Roommate: And they want equal rights.

Obama Willing

I got a new car. 2009 Honda Civic. Brilliant blue. Cup holders. A low fuel light. It can actually go into fourth gear. And travel uphill. I know - I am living the dream.

The birds like it, too. In fact, one such bird desecrated my poor, poor passenger window. My car is too young to have seen such horrors!

On Saturday, I finally decided to have some pride and get my car washed. On the way, I saw a youth fundraiser for $3, and decided to stop on by. Some small children started scrubbing away.

Until they got to the passenger side. "SICK! LOOK AT ALL OF THAT BIRD POOP!"

Quiet, you! You will earn your three dollars!

They brought in some adult reinforcements. I left with my car sparkling in the sun.

For one day. Until the birds got it again.

What tax accountants do in the summer time

That is several staff members' months of 10-key tape. Thanks for not firing me.

"Is it true that Mark pranced around the office, tossing out ice cream bars like daisies?"

Heather: What would you do if I went to California with Kyle by myself?
Jennfer: I don't think I would approve.
Heather: It's not like we're going to be fornicating.
Kyle: Oh...we're not?
Heather: Uh...does that mean I'm out? Darn, I'll have to find something else to do April 16th.