It's such a mystery why I don't have a boyfriend

Ladies and gentlemen, with only slight apprehension I present to you...

Girls Gone Wild: Chubby Bunny Edition.

What can I say? I have no shame.

It all started out innocently enough.

Jennifer and I were the first to go on Mallow #5. Curse you, genetics and our non-stretchy cheeks.

Our winner, "Messica," promised to hurt me if I posted pictures of her, so here's our first runner up, Priscilla, in all her glory:

I dare say, I think that the chipmunk look is very good for me:

Yes, that is a yellow plastic ring shaped like a witch. Yes, I have amazing fashion taste.

So yeah, it was really gross. Never again. Never, never again.