Baby, it's cold outside

Today, it snowed like crazy. As in the wrath of Mother Nature was beating down upon us like a woman scorned.

(at work)

Coworker: I don't think your little car will make it home!
Heather: I know....I might die.

(later)

Heather: I bequeath to you all the office supplies in my cubicle.

"We hide our flaws until after the wedding!" - Name that movie (not Jennifer)

Happy Winter Solstice! This evening I ate dark chocolate to celebrate the darkest day of the year.


Hey! Stop judgin'.

"Spread my legs and fly!"

On Thursday, I went with a partner to a board meeting to present the company's financial statements. Afterward, we went to the company's office to pick up something. As we were walking in, the partner saw someone he knew.

Someone He Knew: You brought your daughter to work!


Awkward!

"It's a Christmas miracle!"

Bless my roommates, who go along with my crazy ideas like sucking the helium from two dozen balloons and singing Christmas songs:




And some not-so-Christmasy songs:




Despite singing that entire song in my normal voice, that one's my favorite. It's just so...us.


I told my roommates that I would give 20 bucks to the lucky girl who took a helium balloon to church and bore her testimony in her squeaky voice. It's a good thing that no one took me up on that offer - it might have killed the mood. But it would have been a story to tell the kids about.

Retaliation

At least this isn't the birthing one.

"Don't shower until your wedding night!"

(as I'm liberally applying lip balm at work)

Horr the Partner: You've got to get those lips soft for the big date tonight!


And that's why I love my job.

You know it's not Christmas until Santa's on the toilet

Now presenting the Best Toilet Seat Cover Ever:

When the lid is down...


But when the lid is up...


Now that's one Santa who isn't a pedophile.