Friday, November 12, 2010

My baby you'll be

One night when Dustin and I were dating, we meandered over to Barnes & Noble to read some children's books. Naturally, I marched to this book and declared that it must be read:

And so we did. One of us may or may not have gotten all misty eyed while reading it. (But I'll never tell you who! Never!)

Go grab a copy and read it with your child or mother and weep.

I got a $10 gift card to Barnes & Noble for doing a survey, so I'm about to add this book to my library. Because the only thing better than getting this book is getting this book for free.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Sharing is caring

Dustin and I took our relationship to a new level today. He accidentally put in one of my contacts.

He lives under a rock

Recently at work, I told my coworker that I was excited for the Harry Potter movie to come out. He told me that he never read the books, and only watched the beginning of the first movie.

Coworker: And then I fell asleep, and when I woke up Harry was trying to get some crazy stick.

(pause of pure astonishment)

Heather: mean a magic wand?

Coworker: Yes!

Monday, November 8, 2010

I have no good answers

Today at work after sneezing, I said "bless me."


Sunday, November 7, 2010

Good morning, Sunshine

Last night, Dustin and I were discussing daylight savings time.

Dustin: Do we gain or lose an hour?
Heather: Fall back/spring forward...It's spring forward, so we lose an hour.

Um, yeah. Apparently I have no idea what season it is. We woke up two hours earlier than necessary today. Oops.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

I'm amused

Thanks to Google Analytics, I now know that if you search for "Snoopy Ski" on Google, my blog is the fourth hit. Funny.

A dream is a wish your heart makes

Dustin: Maybe one day I'll be a rich entrepreneur. And you'll be the wife that gets everything she wants.
Heather: I'll chew a pack of gum a day!
Dustin: Way to reach for the stars.

Friday, October 29, 2010

The turkey tango

Heather: I'm ready for October to be over. I'm tired of Halloween decorations.

Dustin: It's like someone put up Halloween decorations in September or something.


I went to the store yesterday to see if there were any good Thanksgiving decorations. Jammed between the Halloween and Christmas hoopla, there was...not one lonely Thanksgiving decoration. Thanksgiving is so un-thanked.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I am such a baby

I got a flu shot over 48 hours ago, and my shoulder still hurts.

After my shot, I asked the nurse for a sucker. He laughed.

Little did he know I was serious.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

"It smells like desire!"

A texting conversation that Dustin and I had yesterday:

Dustin: What's for dinner?
Heather: Rainbows and sunshine.
Dustin: Those give me gas.

(Actually, it was incredibly delicious orange chicken from Mel's Kitchen Cafe. Oh my goodness. Heaven in a bowl. Go to her website. It will change your life.)

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Free fallin'

Dustin and I have the, uh, blessed opportunity to teach the 7-8 year olds at church. Last Sunday, we went around the room asking them to each say one fun thing they did during the week.

Heather: Now do you want to hear what we did this week?
Kid #1: Sit at home and watch TV?
Kid #2: Yeah! That's what my parents do!!

Punk kids! We went paragliding!

Image stolen from

It was so awesome. Go leave the safety of your homes and jump off a mountain right now.

Actually - it felt incredibly safe. And when you're floating in the air, it's very tranquil. (Although while you turn, you free fall - which is SO EXHILARATING. SO EXHILARATING THAT I'M SHOUTING AT YOU THROUGH THE INTERNETS.)

The only really freaky part was at the beginning, when I was strapped into the parachute and my instructor at the top of a mountain, gazing down at the drop below.

Instructor: Start running as fast as you can.
Heather: That's totally natural!

But yes. I highly recommend it. SO FUN.

Monday, October 18, 2010

"Don't squeeze me!"

I have no green thumbs. In fact, you might say I have brown thumbs. Harsh Brown Thumbs of Death.

While we were dating, Dustin, knowing my less-than-stellar history with plants, gave me "a plant that even you can't kill!" It was a desert plant that could survive weeks without watering.

I accidentally knocked it off my windowsill and shattered the pot into a million pieces.

With that said, meet the newest addition to the family:


We decided he's easier than a child - less fussy and a whole lot cheaper. Dustin is in charge of keeping it alive. My job is to admire it from afar.

Hopefully it won't wither when I look at it.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

"We hide our flaws until after the wedding!"

I took some medicine with caffeine three hours ago. Bad idea. Bad, bad idea.

So. I'm a married woman now. What I have been up to in the last two months of matrimony, you wonder? Oh, a little of this and a little of that:

The other morning I was peacefully taking a shower, when suddenly a cold, clammy hand grabbed my arm. I may or may not have screamed like a woman possessed. The Husband claims I did that to him before. Hmm...sounds vaguely familiar...


::Dustin is taking a shower, as Heather brushes her teeth. Suddenly, Heather emits a scream of death::
Heather: EEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Dustin in turn screams, and rapidly jumps out of the shower.
Heather points at the bug on the floor.
::Dustin shakes his head, disposes of the bug, and gets back in the shower::


Heather is cuddled up with a blanket on the love sac, reading.
Heather: Hey you want to come sit with me for a bit?
Dustin (suspiciously): Why?
Heather: ...I want to leech off your heat. Er...and I want your company!


We try to be good to each other. I resisted the urge to wake him up in the middle of the night to search our house after I had a nightmare that a creeper broke in - but he searched the house for me when he woke up in the morning. You know, just in case.

And there's the sweet and mushy part, too. Like how on a day that I wasn't feeling so swell, Dustin tucked me into bed with a cup of hot cocoa. Or how he will let me put my iceberg feet on his legs at night so I don't perish from the cold. And falling asleep cuddling. Until we wake up burning hot and uncomfortable.

I think I'll keep him.