Go ahead and judge.

I'm currently in the library studying for a Midterm of Doom (doom...doom...).

I picked up my textbook to read it upright for a while, and two sticks of gum fell out! It's like Christmas came early!

This is too easy...

The space station's lone toilet is broken.


That stinks.

The Sister Special

So apparently the birds in Alpine, UT are suicidal. This morning, I almost ran over four of them. FOUR. And I definitely screamed every time it almost happened.


I think that deep down, Jennifer secretly loved it.

Morning routine

This morning, I was woken up to my phone ringing.

"Hi Heather, did you call the BYU Health Center this morning?"

"Um...no."

"Oh. A Heather called Urgent Care this morning, but we don't remember who."



I'm surprised that they don't have Caller ID or something that records phone numbers. What if someone calls and keels over, mid-sentence? (Yikes, maybe that's what happened...)


No matter what ensued, I wouldn't want to be the one calling hundreds of Heathers on a Saturday morning.

You see why I need it

In an effort to not die too young, I've started taking a multivitamin. The directions say to take it with food.

I just took it with Tootsies. Does that count?


Maybe I'll chase it with a tortilla chip.

It was all that and a bag of tortilla chips.

Monday was Cinco de Mayo, and I celebrated it, white-girl style - with pounds of chips and salsa, virgin strawberry daiquiris, a piñata cow named Pepito, and shouting olé! more than both you and I had ever thought humanly possible.

Question: How had I gone my entire life without every celebrating this blessed holiday? I have no good answers for you. Because I haven't had this much fun since Earth Day.

The bad news is that all the piñata-ing and daiquiri-ing left me completely wired so that I didn't get to bed until three. And then I woke up and had piñata candy for breakfast. And then I spent the rest of the day in a sugar-induced hangover that left me feeling ill every time I moved my head. And believe me, you move your head much more than you realize.

But today I'm feeling spiffy, and I still have two bags of tortilla chips left. Siete de Mayo, anyone?

The times we've shared

One day when I was a freshman in college and my youngest sister was 10, I told her that if she stuck a pancake in her CD-ROM drive, she could email it to me.


It's a good thing that she didn't believe me. My parents would have killed me.


I really did want a pancake, though.