"Oh snap we got a chunky one!"

So...has it really been almost a year?  Let's see.  I'm still living the glamorous life of a tax accountant.  We have now killed TWO plants, and are on to Javier #3.  We moved to a condo on the top floor, so I am now longer battling spiders on a daily basis (by which I clearly mean making my husband battle spiders for me).   I am heavy with child.  You know - the usual.

Oh, yes.  About that.  Baby Clouse is due on December 2.

I am now 28 weeks along, and I had my latest checkup yesterday.  My doctor told me that I am measuring two weeks ahead.

My thought?  "Victory!  I am having this baby early!"

My doctor burst my bubble though.  "Heather, not all babies are only seven pounds when they are born..."

So I will either be having this baby around Thanksgiving (please please please!) or I will be birthing a small giant.  I'm trying not to think about it - but I can't keep myself from referring to my baby girl as The Tank.

Happy Halloween

The top four reasons you should have gotten your teeth cleaned on Halloween by my dentist:

4. You'll get to hear Thriller and Monster Mash while you wait.

3. My hygienist dressed up as a cowgirl.

2. The office manager dressed up as a pirate, complete with nasty ol' teeth that she had made in a lab. Yes my friends, you heard right - professionally made fake teeth (complete with bits of lettuce stuck in them).

Still not convinced?

1. After declaring that I had no cavities, my dentist gave me peanut butter cup. Yes, he's awesome. And possibly conniving.

Switch to my dentist...and then tell him I referred you so he will send me a gift certificate to an ice cream shop.

Yes...he definitely is conniving.

Because the people demand pictures

(And by "the people," I clearly mean "one person.")

Last Saturday, Dustin, I, and Friends did the Dirty Dash - a 10K mud run/obstacle course. Now lest you think we are too hard core, it was less of a race and more of a frolic. But we jumped in mud pits, crawled through pipes, waded through a marsh, climbed over hay bales, and got really, ridiculously filthy.

Now, enough of this chitter chatter. Onward!

The start of the race:

Pay careful attention to the color of my shirt. This was the last time it was ever white. Three washes later, I gave up and bid it adieu.

The giant net:

The slip 'n slide:

Finished!

They say a picture says a thousand words, but to me this one mostly says "tired."

I am still finding dirt in my hair, but it was totally worth it. Until next year!

Happy Saturday

Is there anything more disappointing than popping a tube on a bike ride? I submit that there is not. One second, you're flying down the road at 20 mph, and the next...THUNK THUNK THUNK.

But Heather, you're saying, surely you brought a spare. Surely you aren't a fool.

Negative.

But then, you say, surely you brought your phone so you could get a ride home.

Also negative.

Let that be a lesson to you...that's why you always leave a note.

***

And now, on a happier note...

After going grocery shopping:

Heather: I bought you cheese.

Dustin: This is why we are in love.

No more moves

Confession: I am hopelessly addicted to Mahjong.

It all began when my husband left for a week for Scout camp, so I was suddenly forced to entertain myself. Also, we had canceled Netflix the week before. Also! Holed up the basement, we don’t get TV channels.

Need I explain more?

Last night, I was playing game after game using the touch pad of my laptop, and things were not going well. I think I lost over 15 games in a row.

I mournfully turned to my husband.

Heather: No more moves! And my Majhong finger is sore!!!!!!

***

Later, in bed:

Heather: No more moves!!!

Dustin: So we’re still on the Majhong thing? Maybe you should

Heather: Stop playing?

Dustin: No, I know that’s impossible. I was going to say that maybe you should use a better strategy.

"The moral of the story is that I'm glad you're not a child molestor."

Highlights from church yesterday:

-A three-year old showed up in a floor-length princess gown and sneakers that lit up every time she stepped, Quite the classy combo.

-I asked my seven-year old class to name prophets that they knew of from the Bible. One girl said President Lincoln.

This and that

Tonight Dustin and I decided that if we become really poor, we'll be like the Weasley's. Except no Percy...and not as many children.

***

Dustin bought me a gigantic box of fruit snacks for Valentine's. The man knows what I like.

***

Coworker: How many hours are you working?
Heather: This week I'll hit 70.
Coworker: That's not too bad.

Oh, my job...