Thursday, January 17, 2013

"Numbing spray...I'll let you figure out what that is for."

[Warning: TMI post about childbirth unpleasantness! Not for the easily embarrassed or squeamish or my dad!]

So labor? Piece of cake. Not a particularly delicious piece of cake, mind you, but at least once it's over, it's over.

But the recovery – nobody talks about the recovery!

My friend said it best when she told me, “You will lose all dignity in the hospital.” Labor is bad enough – you bleed, tear, get stitched up, and parts of you which are better left unseen are front and center. (But for the record, I did not poop on the table! I've never been so proud.)

But afterward, I still had a shred of dignity left. Even after a nurse put one-size-fits-most granny panties and a diaper-sized pad on me, I still had dignity. But then I was wheeled down to recovery, and told that a nurse was required to help me use the bathroom.

I held it for a long time. Oh yes, as long as I could muster (which, post-childbirth, was about 30 seconds after the urge came). But that fateful moment came when I got the required help. She walked me to the bathroom. She sat me down on the toilet. She proceeded to instruct me on the 10-step process on going to the bathroom, and then she watched. And then I flushed my remaining dignity down the toilet.


Janssen said...

Yes, the having someone accompany you to the bathroom is not pleasant.

Jessica Mitchell said...

haha, I have to say that didn't really bother me that much after everything else. But yes, I was SO proud that I didn't poop on the table too! Go us!

Naazju said...

I never talk about the recovery with first time moms because there's always the chance that, instead of a vaginal delivery, she'll have a c-section. Basically, once you know which delivery method you'll have, it's too late to discuss certain things.
I agree with Jessica--after everything else, going to the bathroom supervised totally didn't phase me. And, actually, the hospital we were at for Adelaide's birth had TWO folks go in with me. Mazel tov. :)